For us to stage a play or two and make a little dough.
We chose a bunch of guys and gals to play the different parts,
We practiced and we practiced till we knew the thing by heart.
Then came the night, the grand premiere was just about to start,
The actors paced the dressing room, each one reviewed his part.
The lights went up, the curtain rose, a hush came o'er the place,
The Heroine tripped on the stage, and fell flat on her face.
The Hero hastened to her side, so quickly did he fly,
He slipped upon the well-waxed floor and gaily sailed right by.
We settled down to business then to do the play just right,
But nearly all the actresses were suffering from fright.
We missed our cues, forgot our lines, and stumbled on the stage,
Our quiet voiced director had by now worked up a rage.
One incident that brought a roar of laughter from the crowd:
The prompter stepped out on the stage and read the play aloud.
The Hero and the Villain fought to prove who was the boss.
The overanxious Villain threw the Hero for a loss.
The Father with a shotgun chased the Hero off the farm.
The Heroine with loving eyes swooned in the Villain's arms.
When the play was over, we came out to take a bow.Someone in the back row shouted, "Let 'em have it now."
The air was thick with rotten fruit and age-old eggs to boot.
An overripe tomato caught the Hero on the snoot.
Though we made a lot of blunders and we muffed our lines a bit,
The play was quite a big success, it really was a hit.
We cared not for our victory or merits we had won.
To us the play had merely been a lot of good clean fun.
